Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Once upon a Poor Winter...

College Application

How FREAKIN long does it take??? I mean't i sent it well over a month and a half ago and still no letter has come in the mail. Who was i kidding i knew they wouldnt except me...


This is winter i don't know what it is. Wheres the snow that sticks? Why is it raining so much? Global Warming..


This will be one poor christmas. I mean i was the one who wanted to have a christmas this year and have a good time. I was tired of living in misery hating every holiday that i couldn't share with my brother but i know he wouldnt like me like that so i brought a tree...and lights and garland. I put the tree up and its just there undecorated and plain looking...i havent had christmas in 8 years lol i come down and walk right past the tree...I will get it up and running soon.


Being as though i was out of work due to that terrible infection i had i wont have money to buy gifts. So at the top of the month when i got my SSI i brought a book for my little sister that makes all these noises and she thinks she can read (2 yrs old). I brought a book that i hope will encourage my mom to better manage and to help her better manage her diabetes (she doesnt like to read though). Im Hoping that on Friday (Christmas its self) I will have a paycheck and i can buy my dad some comfortable slippers get my mom an MP3 Player. And whatever else i can afford everyone else see them on they birthday's cuz i aint got it.


I go back to work tomorrow im kind of happy and sad. I was enjoying being Lazy but i need that paper im on a paper chase until my pockets is fuller than the federal reserves

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Where Am I?

Remember Me? Where have I Been? What Is Going on With Me? You know its never a dull moment for me right. I have one moment of glory only to be buried in grief and suffering...i think thats what im here for to suffer.
I've dissapeared for quite sometime so this is why.
About three weeks ago I went to work and got off early I sent off that college essay good thing i did..because that Monday (officially two weeks ago) I ended up in the E.R....thats right.
Thats what i thought i had. I woke up with severe chest pain and not being able to breathe and with me being used to acute chest's it was no biggy but a trip to the hospital for a few antibiotics and back home to heal up..well for once when it came to my health i was wrong. The doctor i will say his name becuase i think he is an idiot "matal" told me that i didn't have phenumonia therefore it was just sickle crisis..Not it wasnt i told him. Then i heard him telling some fellows to just mark it down as an asthma attack. The moron then came back and gave me a choice good for him getting his ass kicked wasnt one of them. Either i could go home or stay and manage my pain. I ignored my first choice because i knew something was wrong and i stayed. They did tests of all kinds!
I started spiking fevers and being as though the right side of my lung was the only one hurting they did and MRI and tested the blood in my ports and guess what i had a infection in my port that caused lung problems. It formed types of sores if thats what you want to call it around my lung so when my lung expanded the sores hit my rib cage therefore that is where the pain was coming from! That doctor would of let me go home to die..i read about it and it said the only way people die from it is from the pulmonary problems being untreated i caught it in time. I was suffering in this hospital for two weeks now. Vomiting,allergic reactions to the antibiotics, hooked up to 5 different antibiotics because before they didnt know what they were treating.
My Ports Were REMOVED! This is the second infection i have had with them and this was the worst one so i had no choice i can talk to you later about what my doctor is planning on having me do to bring my iron down being as though thats why i had the ports in the first place to have better access and to take overnight meds to bring my iron down. I Had a mini surgery yesterday to put a PICC line in...The lady told me i wouldnt feel no pain only for me to roll over and wake up to a swollen arm i showed the docs and they rushed me to ultrasound to make sure it wasnt clotting it wasnt it just has to heal up.
Now that i have the PICC line they are trying to get me home to do antibiotics because the PICC line lasts for up to 6 weeks and its no point having me in a hospital when i feel great i mean ever since they started treating me with the right antibiotics i felt wonderful and i am sooo ready to go home i have cried so many times because of wanting to go home.
I hope all of you enjoyed your thanksgiving, they were kind enough to give me a go home pass for four hours to enjoy thanksgiving dinner with my family i enjoyed being out of here so much that when it was time to come back i cried and made all my other cousins upset and angry because they couldnt do anything to help me. They eventually calmed me down and i left. Standing at the hospital i remembered the words i wrote on this wall after sliding on this cords at came from tree post to tree post...it went as this.
"I CAME. I SAW. I CONQUERED". Im not letting these demons keep me down i have faith that i will get out and things will be great for me after that.
Sorry i havent made it to journals just give me time. Here are a few links to check out about whats going on with me!
a little info about the bacteria
Actual photo of what my Triumph Port looks like on my right side
Photo and info the infusa port on my left side.
Photo and info about the PICC line placed in me now.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Six Things About Me

Tagged By Winivere
1.I'm not as tuff as i pretend to be my feelings are easily hurt so i mask it with evilness, and by being bitchy.
2.I love music its my escape from any emotional pain or problems going on.
3. I hate love now i believe there is no such thing anymore.
4. At times even with people i feel alone.
5. I lost my brother when i was 12 years old and he was 17 i was broken after that.
6. I like being Different it makes me stand out.

Finally My Halloween Photos

Blogger is soooo difficult for no damn reason. It took me days to get photos in my blog through the upload way then it takes years to upload it to the link and i only uploaded three pics at a time. Anyway this was me and my friend sheena's night out on halloween. She was the police officer and i was the Sexy flight attendant. We had fun i have so many more photos but blogger put a nasty taste in my mouth and i dont have patience so here are the important ones.
We Were supposed to go to a club that night but we ended up having more fun on south st. We took alot of photos with random guys and girls (people we didnt know) some just jumped into photos with us those ones i didnt upload but they are good photos lol.

This is me and my mother and sheena, before we left our neighborhood to go to the club. I wasnt paying attention to busy clowning my mom with her silly glasses on.

Okay this guy used to live in my neighborhood and is now a rapper now i heard of his rap name before but never knew it was HIM! So i took a photo with him. His intention was to talk to me but when he realized who me and my friend was out of respect he didnt try and get with me we just took a photo and split..of course i wanted to talk to him He was okay...got to be a cutie. Reed Dollaz is his name.

Another photo before we left for south st. I was showing off my boots i paid 49.99 for those damn boots just for that night and trust and believe i will be wearing them again they are to fly not to. my halloween costume was 79.99 i didnt want to wait til halloween when it would be cheaper becasue i dont have time to wait in a line lol.

This guy was okay but im not calling or talking to him he was just fun for the moment. I got my Marilyn Monroe Peircing put back in after a week or so of not having it it was free cuz the hole was still open but he went through the out the way way to put it back in and it hurted like hell so its going through the healing process all over again.

Another photo before we left. She locked me up!

Having fun at home again.

Yes this is when i was preparing to leave to go to my friend house to pick her up and leave for the bus stop and go down south street and have major fun lol. And i did.

Right after i got dressed.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Wrong Start To An Early Week

I Revised my Essay alot. I went and found a thersarus to use for words that i used way to many times, also added a few more sentences and changed others. And I love it and i feel more confident about it. Friday i will be getting a $40 money order to ship it back..SH*T i just remembered that i forgot to get a folder when i was at the hospital today to mail it in. Now im going to have to go to the post office.
I had apheresis today it went okay now im getting three bags of blood instead of four and coming once a month as usual. Im starting to do my desferal medicine more often at night. Im trying to hurry and get this iron down so i can be done with the hassle of doing this every night.
What can i say the customers dislike me just as much as i hate them. Hates a strong word but it describes my feelings for them ignorant weirdo's! I worked sunday for like 2 hours because i chose to go home early because my boss called me into her office lol. Apparently i got reported three times for doing my job so i told my boss i will not do my job anymore i will kiss they a$$ just as much as they do. her reply "no please do your job your a great cashier".
Why i got reported those three times?
A. I wouldn't let a woman use her husbands card (we're not allowed to) she went back to my boss and lied and said i rolled my eyes i wish i did at the uni-bomber that way it could of been true she said to me though "dont roll your eyes at a customer" and i told her "Last time i checked my mother was at the dollar store" Okay rewind that could of been avoided but i dont care..
B.I wouldn't call on the loud speaker that there was a cat under a car...I work in a shopping plaza with other stores so its a huge parking lot and thats not on my job description to page for a cat under a car. when you start your engine the cat runs. She got mad that i told her i can't. So she told.
C. After i finished ringing a customer up i asked her to take her basket to the front she gets mad.
My boss asked me to stay or i can go home so you know which one i chose on a sunday morning, home. Screw your customers thats how i feel they are ignorant, spoiled, aggravating, i can go on, oh and their kids? Worse then them, tell them what to do..that wont be mine thats for sure. So i went back on monday and my boss asked if i was okay i said "yea but i still hate your customers" she sighed and said dont be like that. Honestly in my heart 3 makes it bad for the rest of them. I don't do what i used to do which was my job. Im bored with this routine of work. Deal with the same ignorant customers who have money to waste on stuff they dont need then come back the next day begging for coupons for their purchase of that day. At kohl's its a "yes we can policy".
I honestly can say this is one of the worst jobs i ever had and im looking for a new one maybe something different i cant do retail. Im so irked with this job my lunches are extended, breaks extended, late, clock in real early, dont ask for credit cards, i just ring em up and get em out. They ask me my opinion about a shirt i tell them MY opinion- its ugly. theres nothing cute in that store anyway its the worst colors and patterns put together ever. They put they customers over employee's- bad mistake.
Im not feeling good so im not going in tomorrow im having sickle crisis in my hip and im having an allergic reaction to the exchange transfusion they can run the store without me hopefully i wont be missed cuz i will not miss them.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Proof Read My Essay Please.

Hey People!
I finally finished my essay. You'd think with all that essay writing and stuff i do in my blog it would be no problem it was just mainly fear. Im so scared that this college won't like me and will not accept me. I just want yall to go over my essay for me for Harcum College before i send it off. I could have my family members do it but not many of them finished highschool, and the ones that are in college im not close with. My mother did some college but she doesnt really know what to look for in an essay that was years ago she tells me "Ask your father" yea right. Let me know if there are any errors or something wrong with it i want my essay to be good here it is...do you think i answered the three questions they wanted me to answer? Why am i applying to harcum college? Why am i applying to the Veterinarian Technician Program? How Will Harcum Help me achieve my Goal?

Despite my disability; Sickle Cell Anemia, I was raised to believe from my parents that I can achieve life's goals just like anyone else, it just might be a little tougher. That was true. Through out my school years I was attending school and home schooled while I was sick. Whenever I did return to school I would be told that I just returned and am already top of my class and a little ahead. I've been struggling with Sickle Cell but I don't let it stop me or my goals like graduating High school, and getting a job and soon to be attending College.
Currently I am a cashier at Kohl's and I am not happy with it. As a child bagging clothes and receiving money wasn't a dream career. Harcum seems to hold the key to my door of success. It's Close to home. The school also is the only College I could find with the Veterinarian Technician Program. Also a co-worker attended and gave this college a good review so it sealed the deal for me and I decided this was the college for me.
I have hobbies and interest such as Graphic Design and Animation but that craft does not exceed the skills I have when it comes to taking care of animals. Animals are my life, if they hurt I hurt. I've been called “Dr. Dolittle”, “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” and more. When I was a child my little black kitten got his paw shut in the door; he walked with a limp. My mother didn't have the means to take Midnight to the hospital so I attached two Popsicles sticks to his leg on both sides, then wrapped it with an Ace Bandage. I was told that if he wasn't walking right in four weeks or so she would give him up to the SPCA. About a month later my mom removed the Ace Bandage and home-made splint, Just my luck he was walking properly again. I don't know what Fixed midnight's leg; whether it was the Splint or not. But I do know that seeing him running around like before made me happy just knowing he wasn't in pain anymore.
By Equipping me with more wisdom on how to help or save an animal like Midnight or one in a more worse situation. I can use my Artfulness in a career field of my dreams and not only make parents of animals glad but make myself Cheerful too. That is how Harcum College can assist me in achieving my aspiration.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

*DND* Hollow Glow Tags Ready For Pick-UP!!

Hollow's Glow Tag is now ready for Pick-up.
My Site requests a Password if it does Prompt You
The Password is:

Here Is The Link

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

New Tag Up For Request

I made a few new tags if you havent gotten to my tag journal yet please stop by. Note i dont email my tags out i just post a link where you can pick up your tags. If you like my tags follow my tag blog here is the link to check out the New tag up for request.


Also i will have an update on my crazy life soon i should be posting my essay by thursday for review!

Saturday, October 11, 2008


This was Someday I had. BAD..BAD..BAD.
I woke up at 9 o clock am. Shocking i was up all night partying and drinking and partying some more. Cuervo,Hennessey,Vodka,Malibu, Smirnoff, YOU NAME IT. It was my friends birthday she wanted to celebrate it last night instead of sunday. Anyhow i woke up at 9. Thinking i had alot of time to get to work (11am) at 9:30 my brain finally tells me "hey buses are running on saturday schedules" So i dash out the house realizing that i might be late now and only to miss the bus. It was supposed to be there at 10:03 he pulls up at 10:00 remind me to report him for being early lol!

Parking Lot
So i get in my jobs parking lot at 10:53 am thank god i told myself only to have a car honking its horn through my thoughts so me..you can guess what i did right? I gave her the middle finger with out bothering to turn around. Im not a morning person so don't get on my bad side in the morning. She gets pissed, first off before i get to the arguement she was in the wrong anyway. Its a shopping plaza where i work at my job is just one out of the many stores so its alot of stop signs. She had one coming out of the bank, but she got in the lane coming in the bank so she can avoid the stop sign in the lane going out the bank! And i damn sure wasnt moving i mean its 10 on a saturday not many places are open for your square ass head to be rushing to. She said something smart then called me a B**ch...I Lost it. I told her off...while my friend bryan was on the phone. He was scolding me "your so mean stop cursing at that lady like that" he likes to think he's my father at the end of the phone call of course he laughed and told me not to curse anyone out at work....i didn't

Im rushing home to change my clothes because me and my godsister shana (my deceased brothers ex girl friend) were going to a club, this club was going to have male strippers and i never been to a club like that so of course i wanted to see what it was about...im still here calling her phone she stood me up and wont answer i hate when people do that so there for im going to take my permit soon.
Im sitting here bored. I love my new bed i got its a full i can't stay out of it now to get my room painted and decorated. (i was sleeping on the couch before due to the kitten spraying on my bed)

Im making out good with it i have managed to answer two questions and got one left. I need you all to proof read it for me when i am done so look out for my entry titled "Proof Read" Im off to play in PSP. Night Ladies.

Friday, October 10, 2008

New Graphics Journal

I managed to move my graphics Journal to blogspot after failing every time last night. Here is the link to my new graphics journal spot please follow to keep up with all my new offers :) The hollow glow tag will remain here and all my tags to come will be at my graphics journal from here on out! http://taintedcherriesdzine.blogspot.com/

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Tag Offer- Hollow Glow

First Tag Offer here. I lost all of my psp tools and plugins and stuff so im starting from the bottom from this tag i bet you can tell.Leave a comment with the name(s) wanted.

Two Tags Per Person
9 letters Max
No Random, words, phrases.
No Screennames
Do not ask me to change my font's Color,Style,or Size.
Do not alter my graphics in anyway. The you got it when ordered is the way it stays.
About a week or so this tag will not be up for offer.

Sunday, October 5, 2008


My job is pretty much split up into clicks...it shouldn't be like that we should all be a team. Well i greet everyone, i've stop greeting a few because they look at you like you called them something foul. Now i just pretty much keep it moving, anyway we are cool with some and not cool with others.

My friends are cool, im not the oldest cashier there but older then the teens of course. I give the adults the respect they EARN. If your nasty to me i will be the same. There is a guy i found quite interesting. He ended up owning a couple of "Brothers" Stores to being a shoe sale associate at Kohl's we sat in the break room and talked about it. He did so many things in his lifetime and i was shocked when he said he owned his own business. You never know what life has instore for you. There is this young boy i didn't like he was always nasty never wanted to pick up his calls, always in the break room...i was going to report him lol i got tired of him hanging up in my ear. I kind of miss that, he is in the ICU (bad car accident) i really wish he comes through.

All the females are cool we sit up there and talk about the sexy guys that come in or hair and etc and its a one girl, not a cashier, she always seemed pretty cool. Today she didn't want me to leave her she gets on the same bus as me and i waited. She asked if i wanted to go to the bar and get some drinks i told her i would rather chill somewhere i was tired we ended up at her house. She only lives a few blocks away. We were talking about mean and she said something about "i can't picture a man touching me" and it caught me offgaurd and then she told me. I was so shocked and it had me second guessing why out of the blue she wanted to go to the bar with me. I felt kind of akward when her "boyfriend" walked in she and she made me a little nervous i didnt know what to think of her girlfriend i didn't want her to think i was imposing or anything.

I had a good time we had a few drinks at her house and talked a little while and i feel cool around her thats all that matters as long as she stay on her side of the fence i will stay on mine and we can get along just fine, thats in my family. I think i should be careful around her though i don't know i just can't be so optimistic about her nor pessimistic either but still ...i don't know. I sound so childish but i never experienced this before she got to bragging about how her $&* was better than a mans and how she can do that and it kind of pushed me away and she was so sitting sooo close. I have to get to know this woman . How should i feel around her, is my reaction normal? What can i do to be less tense around her? i dont want her thinking im scared of her.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Hope This Works

I created a new journal to see if this works or if its just blogger being a jerk and not letting anyone follow my blog i had four followers on my other blog so it just might be a glitch well comment and let me know if you were able to follow this blog if so i will get rid of the old one.