Saturday, November 29, 2008

Where Am I?

Remember Me? Where have I Been? What Is Going on With Me? You know its never a dull moment for me right. I have one moment of glory only to be buried in grief and suffering...i think thats what im here for to suffer.
I've dissapeared for quite sometime so this is why.
About three weeks ago I went to work and got off early I sent off that college essay good thing i did..because that Monday (officially two weeks ago) I ended up in the E.R....thats right.
Thats what i thought i had. I woke up with severe chest pain and not being able to breathe and with me being used to acute chest's it was no biggy but a trip to the hospital for a few antibiotics and back home to heal up..well for once when it came to my health i was wrong. The doctor i will say his name becuase i think he is an idiot "matal" told me that i didn't have phenumonia therefore it was just sickle crisis..Not it wasnt i told him. Then i heard him telling some fellows to just mark it down as an asthma attack. The moron then came back and gave me a choice good for him getting his ass kicked wasnt one of them. Either i could go home or stay and manage my pain. I ignored my first choice because i knew something was wrong and i stayed. They did tests of all kinds!
I started spiking fevers and being as though the right side of my lung was the only one hurting they did and MRI and tested the blood in my ports and guess what i had a infection in my port that caused lung problems. It formed types of sores if thats what you want to call it around my lung so when my lung expanded the sores hit my rib cage therefore that is where the pain was coming from! That doctor would of let me go home to die..i read about it and it said the only way people die from it is from the pulmonary problems being untreated i caught it in time. I was suffering in this hospital for two weeks now. Vomiting,allergic reactions to the antibiotics, hooked up to 5 different antibiotics because before they didnt know what they were treating.
My Ports Were REMOVED! This is the second infection i have had with them and this was the worst one so i had no choice i can talk to you later about what my doctor is planning on having me do to bring my iron down being as though thats why i had the ports in the first place to have better access and to take overnight meds to bring my iron down. I Had a mini surgery yesterday to put a PICC line in...The lady told me i wouldnt feel no pain only for me to roll over and wake up to a swollen arm i showed the docs and they rushed me to ultrasound to make sure it wasnt clotting it wasnt it just has to heal up.
Now that i have the PICC line they are trying to get me home to do antibiotics because the PICC line lasts for up to 6 weeks and its no point having me in a hospital when i feel great i mean ever since they started treating me with the right antibiotics i felt wonderful and i am sooo ready to go home i have cried so many times because of wanting to go home.
I hope all of you enjoyed your thanksgiving, they were kind enough to give me a go home pass for four hours to enjoy thanksgiving dinner with my family i enjoyed being out of here so much that when it was time to come back i cried and made all my other cousins upset and angry because they couldnt do anything to help me. They eventually calmed me down and i left. Standing at the hospital i remembered the words i wrote on this wall after sliding on this cords at came from tree post to tree went as this.
"I CAME. I SAW. I CONQUERED". Im not letting these demons keep me down i have faith that i will get out and things will be great for me after that.
Sorry i havent made it to journals just give me time. Here are a few links to check out about whats going on with me!
a little info about the bacteria
Actual photo of what my Triumph Port looks like on my right side
Photo and info the infusa port on my left side.
Photo and info about the PICC line placed in me now.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Six Things About Me

Tagged By Winivere
1.I'm not as tuff as i pretend to be my feelings are easily hurt so i mask it with evilness, and by being bitchy.
2.I love music its my escape from any emotional pain or problems going on.
3. I hate love now i believe there is no such thing anymore.
4. At times even with people i feel alone.
5. I lost my brother when i was 12 years old and he was 17 i was broken after that.
6. I like being Different it makes me stand out.

Finally My Halloween Photos

Blogger is soooo difficult for no damn reason. It took me days to get photos in my blog through the upload way then it takes years to upload it to the link and i only uploaded three pics at a time. Anyway this was me and my friend sheena's night out on halloween. She was the police officer and i was the Sexy flight attendant. We had fun i have so many more photos but blogger put a nasty taste in my mouth and i dont have patience so here are the important ones.
We Were supposed to go to a club that night but we ended up having more fun on south st. We took alot of photos with random guys and girls (people we didnt know) some just jumped into photos with us those ones i didnt upload but they are good photos lol.

This is me and my mother and sheena, before we left our neighborhood to go to the club. I wasnt paying attention to busy clowning my mom with her silly glasses on.

Okay this guy used to live in my neighborhood and is now a rapper now i heard of his rap name before but never knew it was HIM! So i took a photo with him. His intention was to talk to me but when he realized who me and my friend was out of respect he didnt try and get with me we just took a photo and split..of course i wanted to talk to him He was to be a cutie. Reed Dollaz is his name.

Another photo before we left for south st. I was showing off my boots i paid 49.99 for those damn boots just for that night and trust and believe i will be wearing them again they are to fly not to. my halloween costume was 79.99 i didnt want to wait til halloween when it would be cheaper becasue i dont have time to wait in a line lol.

This guy was okay but im not calling or talking to him he was just fun for the moment. I got my Marilyn Monroe Peircing put back in after a week or so of not having it it was free cuz the hole was still open but he went through the out the way way to put it back in and it hurted like hell so its going through the healing process all over again.

Another photo before we left. She locked me up!

Having fun at home again.

Yes this is when i was preparing to leave to go to my friend house to pick her up and leave for the bus stop and go down south street and have major fun lol. And i did.

Right after i got dressed.