Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Harcum Sucks

Im still here, busy in college didn't know days were so short until i got here. Truthfully im ready to leave.
I had joined the cheerleading squad for a brief time and i recently quit for numerous reasons
1. tired of the girls
2. tired of the advisor
3. grades slipping
4. they expected us to look like nuns.
The advisor had a nasty attitude and constantly stated that since the cheerleading squad was a pilot program she had no problem quitting if we kept screwing up because her name was on the line and etc. I just didnt like her. She kept my money that i had gave and took the sneakers and pants back which i think was unfair and at a time would not return so she threatened to put it on my school bill, i just let it go even though i dont have money to throw away but karma goes around and comes around so we will see how far the pilot program goes.
I remember lyrics from an old song
"Friends How many of us have them? Ones we can depend on...."
I know i have none. These girls i have known since the summer program and we started out as a small group of four that was fine but now its more of us and more females mean more drama.
I have been pushing away from them and staying in my room and they have noticed but i don't care. If i feel like you can't be trusted then its curtains for you. So my friends are the girls from the cheerleading squad some of them got mad that i quit but im done with them thats it i cant take no more. I came from having one friend and no drama because it was nobody else she would talk to to even talk bad about me but here my friends always got something negative to say and you better believe if you leave the room your next to be talked about. One of my friends, Tasha is a girl that the rest of them compete to be her right hand man, for what? Kids is what they are and im the oldest 21 to a group of 18 and 19 year olds. Well tasha thinks she runs things and with them she does but not me i stay in my room. Anyway she started this drama between me and my new friend and now that i think about it she probably was being smart.
New Friend
I found that i get along better with boys. This boy is italian and his name is Mike. He was helping me with my english work because he is in my class and plus he was cool. He has a car so we would just ride around and sometimes just for him to go home and get things but as long as i was away from them i was happy. Tasha told me this morning that a guy i was messing with up here (Dre) told her that mike told him that he had sex with me. I was hurt because i believed mike was my friend and i didn't think he would start a lie like that i was never in his room long enough for his fat ass to have sex with me. So i called him and cursed him out and threatened to bust out his car windows, i guess he got scared and got dre and brought him down to my room. Come to find out dre never told tasha any of this..That lil bitch made it up. So mike left my room i really dont know what terms we are on now. But dre did tell me that Mike told percy (a guy i used to mess with in the summer) that he had sex with me. Now mike has a history of lying he lied about having sex with this girl and they were just friends so what do you think? I think he said it and he was trying to get cool points and i think he lied to dre because he know me and dre has history. Whatever the case tasha is a weirdo and i dont have time for her lies and drama she started. My other Friend jazz told me something "keep her out your business". True. I was only made because im no whore i messed with two people and thats it no more from this school they are all dissappointments lmao.
After Percy here at this school i said i was finished but then i met him. Like percy he plays basketball for the team but they dont really deal with each other as he claim but i know men talk. I like Dre alot (Note i still like him) but i realized he wanted to be free. At first when we met he said possibly a girlfriend but then he switched it around and said he dont want a girlfriend here because he may not stay the whole two years and to be honest he knows what he is going to do but he made it an excuse. I stopped sleeping in his room with him and trust and believe i took care of him because i like him, i think he is worried about what everyone else might think or say and if thats the case i dont have time for him i will move on.
Byren The Ex
He calls and we talk on the phone alot slowly but surely i am starting to miss him. The way he treated me and took care of me dispite the problem we had with the cancer and hpv scare. I just want that old that back the sense of comfort and love and true friendship. I miss his friends i talked to one of his friends steve on the phone and i miss my brother...I don't know should i give him another chance?
Its kicking my ass like crazy. I am stressing not only because of the people but because of the work i just feel overwhelmed some days i just want to pack my things and leave...some days i just want to run away


A Middle Aged Mom said...

Don't let school stress you out! I always get along better with guys too!

Stacy said...

Don't give up girl. You can do this and being alone sometimes is the best thing. People suck.

Anonymous said...

Hello. And Bye.