This Can't Be Life...

Work..

I Got 19 hours next week..imagine my emotion only to turn around and see the boss's daughter has 30 hours..kiss ass and favoritism right? I hate that there are no jobs out due to recession im searching believe i am looking.

Siblings.

My lil brother had a seizure last sunday.he is 15. This is his second seizure. I called out of work only to find out it was caused by his stupidity, he stopped taking his pills! Teenagers i tell you (Like i didnt used to be one) I took pictures of him in his neck brace lol he was so mad said it wasnt cool. The whole time he was yelling "WHERES MY PHONE" "MAN I HAD A CHICK COMIN OVER WHILE MY MOM WAS GOING TO THE LIBRARY IM FINE CAN I GO HOME???" LOL. I told him since he was fine he owes me money for calling out. Later when we left he put the neck brace on his head and said he was muslim...clown. He said his legs felt like jello but he was good to go home. He is takin his meds again.

My lil sister Surah who is 2 and 2 grown! She has a car now i think a jeep. So she was driving and crashed in a bush she wasnt listening to my dad who was telling her to turn she turned around and gave a shut up look...then what happen she crashed. She then gets out pulls the jeep out and lifts the hood to check the damage..does something and claims "its fixed" my dad told her shut up it wasnt never broke lol they get on my nerves...she told him he was a pain in the ass one day..i was no good her told her, her third birthday gift was a beatin so she walks around saying "when i turn three daddy gonna beat my behind" lol

School

The more i work the more i want to go to school. Im waiting on the counselor to contact me she should contact me around april.

Bills

Seems every month im taking over new bills and having less money to spend for myself im not enjoying this getting old part..i wanna be young again.

Let it snow, let it snow... o wait its march..

ACCUPLACER Test

So i took my test the friday that past and guess what it wasn't bad. I was expecting a paper test but it was on the computer so it was just point and click something i am used to. I breezed past the math cuz i don't know it lmao. So what i did know i clicked what i didnt i guessed. Then come to find out at the end of the english test i had to write an essay - oh and why would they give me a topic i highly dont care about.

Topic- If you could meet someone famous who could it be? I started to put "No one, end essay." LMAO! Stars don't interest me so i was pissed sitting there trying to lie my way on the essay because i wasnt into it it wasnt much of an essay plus i had shopping on my mind so it was short. They puttin me in three extra classes i don't care because i know i need those classes. A math class and two english classes shocking because im great in english but i think it was that damn essay that screwed me.

Its Cold Outside

Just when i though spring was coming on all those nice days that were in the 50's and then the 20's come back with alot of damn snow. I couldn't even get a white christmas! The snow is late and aggravating and need to go away. I called out because of it i wasnt going out there in that mess i don't love the job that much..I called couldnt think fast so my reason- migraine headache..o well next time it will be more convincing lol.

Snow Day

Im just reading journals and trying to catch up on all of my friends sorry i haven't been around call myself studying for that placement test..HA!

Well yall have a good day.

Preparing For Life

Its Alot of things going on in my life. Some positive others negative.

I've been preparing for life, a real life. School= Career= Money = MY OWN. I don't know when i start school sometimes i have doubts about going. Is this for me? No school has never been anything i liked or love yes i was good at some subjects but still i didn't want to go i mean who really did. But college is different, if you want a better life sometimes you have to force your way through things and thats what im doing. Im trying to get by. Im trying to become what i want to be by doing something i hate to do lol.

I have to fill out FAFSA, I have run into a few road blocks but im still trying. Right now im waiting on my W-2 Form so i can enter my finance info. Im trying to get scholarships and grants but do they offer any to people who have been out of school for long? Most stuff i seen if for fresh out of high school. Maybe i should talk to my social Worker and see if he or the nurses and docs at my hospital can help me find some grants and stuff for my disabilities. All this stuff i feel will work out on its own i mean i barely have funds to pay so im trying to hurry and fill out the FAFSA the faster i do the greater chance of getting more money.

There is something that has been bothering me. You ever feel so stupid that you want to quit doing something positive? You just start thinking negative and feeling negative. Well i been feeling like crap. I haven't done math since 2006 and i have to take an ACCUPLACER Test. Its just a college skill assessment to see where i am mathmatically and english wise. English im great in, math.. no. The last date for Testing is February 27th. I Decided to go get a book to brush up on my math skills so i brought one from borders and it was helping me okay until i got to the part i hate.. Variables. Im stuck and its on the second chapter. I don't know what to do. I just dont understand it anymore its been so long i cant understand how they are getting what and everything. So im just like fuck it. Thats how i feel.

I haven't been up to the school yet for a tour or contacted the school for anything else once i was accepted i just ran with it. I have been trying to get my permit.

Another road block. I can't get it because somehow my mother lost my birth certificate and we just had it not to long ago i swear she is losing her mind. So now i have to go PAY to get another damn birth certificate that may take to long to recieve. Im trying to get my liscense before my state id expires and thats in july. But i don't know how long it will take to get a birth certificate they claim two weeks my friend is still waiting on her daughters and that was a month ago. Then i have to give the school 100 dollars for a spot in the class period i mean damn am i made from money?

I've just been secretly stressing. Keeping it all to myself.

Another thing, I hate my job..point blank.
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New Year For Progress

Work
Still working at kohl's, slowing but shortly i will be leaving there. I have to its not good for my blood pressure lmao. I mean i love work good thing is im off tomorow and that is shocking. I guess they figure if the give me my weekends i wont get reported as much lol. Got paid time and a half yesterday so im very excited to see this future crummy check im just waiting on Tax time :)

School
Still havent heard from them im going to contact them Monday and see whats up. If they didn't accept me i want my forty dollars back LOL.

Resolution
My new years resolution is turning out so far so great. Im trying to eat healthier im 20 years old with a gut, it has to go. I have a pilates set i brought that came with the ball and pump and everything i will be starting that soon i get some work out gear and then i might join a gym. Im eating healthy cereal instead of the sweet cereal. Im eating Raisin Brand, Mini Wheats, ETC. I've been eating apples when we go food shopping i will make sure to get some yogurt,and different fruits.

Mother
My mother is falling apart. She can't walk now somehow some way she pulled a muscle in her groin they think it may be a torn vein in her leg or something like that so she has to go back and get an ultrasound. I called out today to make sure she was fine i was supposed to work but my mothers more important then them jerks.

Me.
Im fine i can complained but i did enough just now. Happy New Year!

Once upon a Poor Winter...

College Application



How FREAKIN long does it take??? I mean't i sent it well over a month and a half ago and still no letter has come in the mail. Who was i kidding i knew they wouldnt except me...



Winter

This is winter i don't know what it is. Wheres the snow that sticks? Why is it raining so much? Global Warming..



Christmas

This will be one poor christmas. I mean i was the one who wanted to have a christmas this year and have a good time. I was tired of living in misery hating every holiday that i couldn't share with my brother but i know he wouldnt like me like that so i brought a tree...and lights and garland. I put the tree up and its just there undecorated and plain looking...i havent had christmas in 8 years lol i come down and walk right past the tree...I will get it up and running soon.



Poor

Being as though i was out of work due to that terrible infection i had i wont have money to buy gifts. So at the top of the month when i got my SSI i brought a book for my little sister that makes all these noises and she thinks she can read (2 yrs old). I brought a book that i hope will encourage my mom to better manage and to help her better manage her diabetes (she doesnt like to read though). Im Hoping that on Friday (Christmas its self) I will have a paycheck and i can buy my dad some comfortable slippers get my mom an MP3 Player. And whatever else i can afford everyone else see them on they birthday's cuz i aint got it.



Work

I go back to work tomorrow im kind of happy and sad. I was enjoying being Lazy but i need that paper im on a paper chase until my pockets is fuller than the federal reserves

Someday...

This was Someday I had. BAD..BAD..BAD.
Morning.
I woke up at 9 o clock am. Shocking i was up all night partying and drinking and partying some more. Cuervo,Hennessey,Vodka,Malibu, Smirnoff, YOU NAME IT. It was my friends birthday she wanted to celebrate it last night instead of sunday. Anyhow i woke up at 9. Thinking i had alot of time to get to work (11am) at 9:30 my brain finally tells me "hey buses are running on saturday schedules" So i dash out the house realizing that i might be late now and only to miss the bus. It was supposed to be there at 10:03 he pulls up at 10:00 remind me to report him for being early lol!

Parking Lot
So i get in my jobs parking lot at 10:53 am thank god i told myself only to have a car honking its horn through my thoughts so me..you can guess what i did right? I gave her the middle finger with out bothering to turn around. Im not a morning person so don't get on my bad side in the morning. She gets pissed, first off before i get to the arguement she was in the wrong anyway. Its a shopping plaza where i work at my job is just one out of the many stores so its alot of stop signs. She had one coming out of the bank, but she got in the lane coming in the bank so she can avoid the stop sign in the lane going out the bank! And i damn sure wasnt moving i mean its 10 on a saturday not many places are open for your square ass head to be rushing to. She said something smart then called me a B**ch...I Lost it. I told her off...while my friend bryan was on the phone. He was scolding me "your so mean stop cursing at that lady like that" he likes to think he's my father at the end of the phone call of course he laughed and told me not to curse anyone out at work....i didn't

Home
Im rushing home to change my clothes because me and my godsister shana (my deceased brothers ex girl friend) were going to a club, this club was going to have male strippers and i never been to a club like that so of course i wanted to see what it was about...im still here calling her phone she stood me up and wont answer i hate when people do that so there for im going to take my permit soon.
Im sitting here bored. I love my new bed i got its a full i can't stay out of it now to get my room painted and decorated. (i was sleeping on the couch before due to the kitten spraying on my bed)

Essay
Im making out good with it i have managed to answer two questions and got one left. I need you all to proof read it for me when i am done so look out for my entry titled "Proof Read" Im off to play in PSP. Night Ladies.